Sometimes everything feels so much that it seems impossible to get rid of our traumas. When we sit still for a moment and listen to ourselves, everything hits us like a bomb. That's why we prefer to run away, so that we don't have to feel the intense pain and emotions from trauma. Is this wise, does it genuinely make us happier? The answer is: No, it doesn't. But how can we look at it and truly heal? This and three tips to live a happier life will be discussed.
Running away from emotional trauma
If we don't sincerely listen to ourselves, we will never be happy. No matter how bad it is, trauma is still a part of us. If we continue to bury this part of us, we will only end up creating more resistance. We can put on our mask to a certain extent, causing us to feel 'nothing'. Ultimately, the 'negative' emotions such as anger and fear that accompany resistance will arise. This resistance creates a feeling of powerlessness, because the situation does not change. The feeling and trauma will not go away because you run away, it will only go away when you learn to listen to the emotions and traumas. For example, if you have a trauma that you are not nice enough and you do not listen to this, you will continue to act like a clown to get that validation. Even if people do like you, they only like your mask, not the real you. So you get no satisfaction from this.
Learning to look at your trauma
To become happier, it is important to listen to yourself and choose things that give you satisfaction. It is therefore important to become aware of your behavior and ask yourself why you do things the way you do them. For example: Am I being funny because I want to or am I being funny to be liked? Does it give me satisfaction to continuously want to be the best or is that my need to prove myself?
By communicating more with yourself, you will also generate more positive energy, after all, you are doing something that your true self likes. Of course it is not always possible to do things you like, but you can try this as much as possible.
What is happiness and how do we achieve it?
To feel happy, it is important to know what our real self wants and to fully accept ourselves. Only when we learn to heal the traumas will we be able to go deeper and learn more about ourselves. Healing trauma is about letting go of programmed beliefs from your youth that no longer serve you, such as 'I have to be nice enough to fit in'. Only when we learn to love ourselves completely will we reach the gold within us and have a happy life.
We can learn to love ourselves by being our own best friend, you can do this by being gentler with yourself. Treat yourself the same way you treat friends, with compassion and a listening ear. This will not work in one go, but the more we try, we will be able to evoke more loving-kindness for ourselves. You can also try talking to yourself (listing mantras)/reasoning and often saying that you are good enough. By reasoning that everyone is good enough, we can eventually see that this includes us.
Only when you learn to accept yourself with all your imperfections and learn to live in the present moment, can we find happiness within ourselves. If we are too preoccupied with the past (traumas) and the future, we will continuously live in fear. It is therefore important to find the peace of the present moment, so that we can live more consciously and learn to be grateful for our lives.
Summary
Genuine happiness can only be experienced when we no longer run away from our traumas. This will be very difficult at the beginning, but in the end we will be able to reap the benefits. If trauma is not healed, it will continuously require our attention, whether or not in the background. The emotions of anger and fear will often arise, but it may also be the case that you suppress these emotions and it seems as if you feel nothing. These feelings will come up anyway, it's like a ball you try to push underwater, but shoots back up every time you let go. Have more compassion for yourself and ultimately become your own best friend.