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Depressive feelings, will I suffer from this all my life?

man looking out window

When we first encounter depression, it hits us like a bomb. Often we don't even know what we are dealing with, as it usually starts in our younger years. We then experience so much emptiness and gloom that it seems as if it is an endless cycle. We often try to run away into things like Netflix, social media or even narcotics. Even though we realize that these are short-term solutions, we are unable to break the cycle. Can we ever get rid of depression or will we be stuck with it for the rest of our lives?

What does depression mean and when does it occur?

During depression we experience a time of sadness and we don't seem to feel like doing anything. Sometimes this is so bad that we don't even want to get out of bed and simply never want to get up again. Depression often arises when we lose meaning in our lives, cannot build a sincere bond with the people around us and therefore no longer see a future.

I was depressed for a number of years, but I didn't know this at the time. My depression started young, I was 12 years old. I then went to high school and couldn't connect at all. This was not because of my school class, but because of how I was treated at home. Everything I did was not good, my opinion was not allowed and I was especially not allowed to be loud. Eventually I became completely silent and hardly said anything anymore, I didn't think I was worth having contact with others and I was terrified of rejection. Because of this I hated myself, I could not connect with my school class and I already had no connection with my parents at all. When at some point your world becomes so small and the world you are in feels like hell, there seems to be no way out.

We all experience things, of course not everyone experiences them as intensely, but we all get some damages in life. Most causes of depression often arise in our youth. As a child it is difficult to look honestly at our parents and our home situation, after all we are dependent on them. It was only years later that I was able to realize how my parents treated me, even though you would expect that this would have happened sooner due to striking events. Yet it is often quite difficult to look honestly at our own situation, after all, we don't know any better, our parents tell us how good they are to us and they teach us that we are the problem because we whine or are ungrateful. This creates the belief that we are not good enough and not worthy enough that fuels our childhood depression. If we do not become aware of this, we can carry this depression and the feeling of not being good enough into the rest of our adult years.

Can I ever get rid of depression?

The answer is yes, that is certainly possible. However, it will not be an easy way to get rid of depression, especially if we have been in this for years. With depression you are actually stuck in 'destructive' patterns and you often hang out with people who do not help or support you. It is important not to judge ourselves for our depression, still try to have compassion for yourself no matter how hard it is. After several years, I got rid of my depression. It's not that I shine like a ray of sunshine every day and am completely happy, but if I don't feel good or gloomy it lasts a maximum of a day. These are no longer periods of two weeks or longer that I'm feeling down.

I personally noticed that my depression persisted in my adult years because I was constantly self-effacing, not hanging out with the right people, not being honest with myself and not listening to myself and what I felt. Only when we start listening to ourselves will we be able to find the joy in our lives again. This cannot be achieved after a week, it takes months/years before we increasingly get to know our real self. It is important not to give up and to surround ourselves with like-minded people who can help us rise.

You can listen to yourself, for example, by asking yourself why you feel sad. Your body shows you through emotions/gloom that something is not right. You actually get signals that something needs to change or pay attention! If we ignore these signals and don't listen to them we will only make them worse. As the days go by that we don't listen to ourselves, our gloom will also increase and at a certain point it will seem to have no end. It is not impossible to get out of this period, but it will take a while since your depression did not develop within one day.

Three tips to get out of depression faster:


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