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Phase 1: Gaining insight into your current habits and the here and now


Start your journey, Gaining insight into your current habits and the here and now

During the healing process, it is especially important to remain aware. If we don't learn to live consciously, we will never be able to break old patterns. It is up to us to recognize that suffering is part of being human and that without it we can never grow. Only when we learn to feel that we belong to a greater whole it will dissolve our emptiness in us on its own. To come here it is of course important to learn to live from the present moment. Only when we do this, we can begin to heal ourself and build a happier life.


Basic Awareness

The book The Subtle Art of NOT GIVING A F*CK by Mark Manson provides many insights for a foundation of awareness. We give too many f * cks, which is bad for our mental health. We no longer carefully choose what really matters and waste our precious energy and time by throwing endless f * cks. We are so eager to show that our lives are better than others, which is why most of this generation believe that having 'negative experiences' (fear, tension, guilt, etc.) is bad and even taboo. Only when we stop comparing and don't give a f*ck, we can break the hellish vicious circle. Support yourself and say something like, "I feel like shit and that's okay." Not giving a f*ck means, according to Mark Manson, that in the face of the most terrifying and difficult challenges in your life, you still take action, it means that you don't mind being different.


“The key to a good life is not the obsession with more; it is recognizing the importance of less, of what is sincere and acute and important." - Mark Manson

"You're not special and neither are your problems." It is important to recognize that everyone has shortcomings and setbacks. In fact, setbacks and failures are helpful, even necessary, for developing confident and successful adults. By being aware of this, we no longer learn to see ourselves as an individual victim, but as a connected being with everything around us.


“When we force ourselves to be positive all the time, we deny the existence of problems in our lives. And when we deny our problems, we deprive ourselves of the chance to solve them and generate happiness.” - Mark Manson

There is no such thing as a personal problem. If you have a problem, chances are millions of other people have been affected by it now or in the past. When we recognize that suffering is part of life and we cannot avoid problems, then we should ask ourselves not 'How do I end this suffering', but 'Why do I suffer - for what purpose?' Letting go can then be very liberating.


“I suddenly realized that I had spent most of my short life avoiding everything that made me uncomfortable and painful, and had in fact avoided life itself.” - Mark Manson

The Present Moment (The here and now of our time)

After becoming aware of giving too many f*cks and the underlying reason, it is important to find out for ourselves how to change it. It may sound easy, but it also took Mark Manson years to come to this knowledge and apply it. It is therefore important to be patient and not to give up, no matter how hard it gets. That is why it is important to first become aware of the present moment. Without the present moment, we won't even know when we're giving f*cks and so we can't consciously choose what we really find important. That is why it is useful to read Eckhart Tolle's book The power of now to approach the present moment on a basic level.


Identification with your mind creates a screen of concepts, images, labels, words, judgments and definitions that blocks any real relationship. It comes between you and yourself, between you and nature and between you and your fellow man. We can no longer take it for granted that we are actually one with all that is. Our drifting consciousness, our tendency to take the path of least resistance by being unaware of the present moment, creates a void.


“Wherever you are, be completely there. If you find the here and now unbearable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it or accept it completely.” - Eckhart Tolle

The key to happiness is surrender. When you can unconditionally surrender (acceptance) to the flow of life, everything will flow. The only place you can experience this flow is in the now. In fact, when you accept what is the judgment stops, you are free of the mind. When you are identified with the mind, the ego controls your life. Identification provides 'negative' spiritual nourishment, observation draws energy away from your mind. Only when you can largely let go of this will there be room for peace, love and happiness. Whatever the present moment holds, accept it as if you chose it. Above all, don't resist. The present moment holds the key to liberation!


“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more senseless, more insane than to create inner resistance to something that already is? What could be more insane than to resist life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say "yes" to life and watch life suddenly start working for you instead of against you." - Eckhart Tolle

Some tips and exercises to stay in the present moment that Eckhart Tolle gives are: In everyday life it is important to live more consciously. Body awareness keeps you present and anchors you in the now. For example, if you are walking try to be aware of the steps you are taking and the ground beneath you and when you get home try to sit down and focus on your breathing. Be fully present. Or when you wash your hands, pay attention to the perceptions that come with it such as: the sound, the feel of the water, the movement of your hands, the smell of the soap, etc. These are all anchors to return to the current moment. Your main anchor is your body itself, return to it often, ask yourself: Am I comfortable right now? or What is happening in me right now?. Alternately focus your attention on different places in your body, or ask yourself where you hold the most tension and focus on that. If you find it difficult to connect with your inner body, try focusing on your breathing first. Follow the breath as it goes in and out of your body. Breathe in and feel your belly expand and slowly retract, focus on this. If this succeeds you are in your body.


Don't worry if the mind occasionally manages to divert your attention from the body and you lose yourself in some thought. As soon as you notice that this has happened, return your attention to the inner body.


All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry - all forms of fear - are caused by too much future and too little presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness and all forms of unforgiveness are caused by too much past and too little presence." - Eckhart Tolle


Follow-Up

It is not necessarily necessary to read the power of now, as this will also emerge in other books in subsequent phases. But if you still want to know a little more about how you can best be and stay in the here and now, then this book is definitely suitable.


Despite the peace that can be found in the present moment, thoughts/traumas often arise that need to be accepted. We accumulate many traumas throughout our lives, so it is important to learn more about them so that they affect our lives less. We build up most traumas in our childhood, so we often unconsciously project them onto everyday life. The next phase will help you become more aware of learned patterns. And what influence parents and the environment have had on you as a person.

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