'I want to change, but I don't know how to start?' The most important thing to know is that everyone has a different path. For those who complete their life journey, the path always ends at their own core / their inner child and the gold that is hidden inside of you. This does not mean that you ever stop learning, even from your core there is a lot to learn!
What is trauma?
The word trauma, to me, characterizes an inner wound or split in the self as a result of difficult situations or painful events. It is not the situation that has happened, but what follows through anchors in our mind, body and nervous system (so in ourselves). Without acknowledging these traumas, we will be stuck in the past and unable to reach our full potential.
Recognize traumas during your spiritual life journey
Everyone has experienced trauma in their life. When we think of trauma, we usually think of very intense events, extremes. This gives a misleading effect that traumas are exceptional or abnormal. As a result, action will be taken less quickly to heal. Therefore, if you are reading this, know that you also have traumas that affect your daily life. Our behavior is largely determined by our wound and how we deal with it. Traumas are often so deep that many of us don't even realize they are there.
'If someone had no traces of trauma, he would be an outsider in our society' - Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal
I have suffered from many traumas due to little attention from parents, being bullied, emotional neglect, gaslighting, not being allowed to have an opinion and having to take on the parental role. The most intense thing that came from this was my anxiety and panic disorder. This has affected years of my life. From not being able to sleep for days and being scared awake at night to not being able to go to school or go outside anymore.
The remarkable thing is that despite the many 'negative' events (which were quite striking) I only found out later in life that these traumas were caused by my parents. My dad always acted like I was crazy and something wasn't right with me and to the outside world they tried to play the perfect family. Because of this I never dared to question them. It wasn't until my girlfriend showed me the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson that I dared to start think for myself. It is often the case that the parents cause the most traumas, as you spend most of your younger years with them.
Since no one knew what I was really experiencing, it was a tough journey. Even the doctors and psychologists couldn't help me and didn't understand what I was going through. Because of this I was not able to go through my journey efficiently and pleasantly. Fortunately, I largely got over my anxiety disorder and my girlfriend played a major role in this. By becoming aware of the cause I was able to start healing.
I would like to give you tips on how to start, so that you can heal as effectively as possible. On the BookUp page you can find phases that help you step by step to go through your journey! In the Blogs under the heading Start your journey I provide more context about the different phases.