We all sometimes think 'Why can't I ever be normal?' or 'Why do I always mess up?'. We have been stuck with ourselves for a lifetime. Everything we think we hear and everything we do we see or feel. A thought such as 'oh, there's that fat woman again' will sometimes arise. As humans, we are made to judge so that we know what we are dealing with. However, it is our choice whether we believe and express this judgment.
To judge is human
As humans, 35 milliseconds are enough to judge whether someone is trustworthy or not. Our appearance influences everything, both at work and personally. Judging also helps to make sense of the millions of stimuli we receive. It brings structure to our lives to put everything we perceive into boxes. So it is inevitable not to judge, but what matters is what you do with the judgement. Do you treat the large woman differently than someone who is not large or do you still treat her as an equal? If you are less judgmental of yourself, you will also be less likely to be judgmental of others. Judging says something about how you view the world, this does not necessarily have to be negative. A judgment is actually someone's opinion.
We often go too far in judging ourselves and others and most judgments have a 'negative' character. For example, we not only label someone as large, but we then see this person as something inferior. If we were to judge in a positive way, we would not see the large woman as something bad or strange, but simply human. We are all human and therefore all different.
A society full of shame
In today's society it often feels like we should be ashamed of ourselves. We are raised to prove ourselves and achieve. When we don't live up to other people's expectations and imposed standards, we are labeled as bad or something to be ashamed of. In fact, others see us as not good enough and inferior, at such times it is very difficult to continue to look at ourselves positively.
It is important to ultimately realize that everyone has weaknesses and makes mistakes, even though it often does not seem that way due to the taboo that prevails in society. It is therefore important to become aware of the bigger picture and to realize that we are all fallible people. Others' opinion is not fact. We don't have to punish ourselves when we make a mistake, even if we have been taught to do so. Try to become aware of the limiting thoughts and traumas you have experienced in the past. This way you can choose your values ​​and fully support them. If we do this, we will ultimately be in alignment with our true self, which will evoke positive and pleasant feelings.
Book tip
A very good book to get more in order about what you find important in your life and what you should and shouldn't give a f*ck to is: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. This book shows in a nice way how you can live more freely and positively. If necessary, you have the reins for a better life in your own hands!
4 tips to learn to think more positively:
Ultimately, it is not about learning to think more positively about yourself, but about examining why you judge yourself this way. This often links back to our youth and the values ​​we learned there. Ultimately, the result will be that we think more positively about ourselves and love ourselves more.