If we do not learn to live consciously, we will never discover whether we are the most beautiful version of ourselves. It is therefore important to ask ourselves questions several times a day. For example, do you sometimes think about whether what you do actually makes you happy? Do you do work that you enjoy or is your passion elsewhere? Do you hang out with people who give you satisfaction and energy or are you more reluctant to meet up? It is important to ask yourself questions so that you ultimately discover what your true self wants. We then learn to live according to our values ​​and have more energy left to do what we really enjoy and find important in this life.
How do you find out what matters to you?
Over the years, we have often had to adapt and ignore ourselves, because of our parents and environment. As a result, we have lost our true self and we no longer know who we really are and what our self-worth is. This is usually related to the fact that, for example, we do not dare to say 'no' and choose a job that we do not actually want. This happens because we blindly follow the values ​​that have been imposed on us. For example, have you learned that your parents always come first and you have little say. Then this will be exactly the same in your adult life if you do not address this source of trauma. We then do not listen to what we consider important, as we allow ourselves to be carried away by our fear. For example, there used to be a fear that if we did not agree with our parents or put them first, we would be kicked out of the house or no longer loved. So there is a danger associated with what has been imposed on us. However, we often still believe this danger in our adult lives, even though we no longer live with our parents and are completely independent.
However, finding ourselves again is not easy, since these values ​​have been imposed throughout our lives and we have come to believe them ourselves. When we start listening to our true selves, it will feel awkward at first. We have hidden ourselves and our inner child away all our lives and so it takes time, just like with a real child, to build trust. Especially if we still surround ourselves with people who do not support us or who initially imposed these 'toxic' values ​​(for example our parents). In any case, know that it is not a bad thing to question your parents and their values. It doesn't mean your parents are bad, often they didn't know any better as they learned this from their own parents. But do know that you are always allowed to have your own opinion, even if it is not respected or accepted by others!
Getting rid of our 'toxic' environment
I call it toxic because it is an environment that gets in the way of our healing process and our happy life. Only when we find the courage to choose ourselves can we become the most beautiful version of ourselves. Unfortunately, this also means that we sometimes have to say goodbye to people who no longer serve us. Especially when people do not value us and want to change us, it is important to draw a line. Ask yourself: Is my life worth it if I live it for others and not for myself? If the answer is no, then it is important to choose your own path and build your happy life. Try to find like-minded people, if this is not possible in real life, you can also do this through books or by reading like-minded articles from the internet. A book that changed my life is Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. Since I felt very alone, this book helped me a lot through stories from like-minded people and learning to love myself.
5 Tips
If you are wondering how you can get closer to yourself and find your joy in life again, here are five tips:
